Only Human

I almost lost my phone yesterday, but thank God the cleaner who picked it up was honest enough to return it to me. *Faith in humanity restored*

I was on my way to the canteen when I realised my phone wasn't with me, and then remembered that I had left it in the loo (I took it out of my pants pocket for fear of it sliding out and entering the sewers, which was what happened to a friend of mine, naming no names). So the first thing I did was ask for advice from my friends in the workstation, who stopped what they were doing immediately to help look for my phone. *Above said faith leveled up*

Supposedly the first thing to do was to speak to one of the security guards/officers in charge of this building's safety. But alas, NONE of them was around. So we went to the HIR Secretariat office instead, not to shovel blame onto anyone, but rather hoping that whoever found the phone would leave it there for "lost and found", and to find out who we can turn to if the phone wasn't there.

Guess what's the first thing my friend and I heard? "We are not responsible for this." My friend very calmly told her that that was not our intention. *yawn* Surprise surprise... Obviously you're not going to buy me a phone now, would you? I know this definitely doesn't apply to every white-collared office personnel, but sometimes I do think that the kakak and makcik who clean the washroom are warmer human beings.

小小的

好开心哦！

昨天和子欣庆生时（生日快乐子欣！！！），在“家好月圆”那家餐厅隔壁买到好吃的木薯糕！

那块小小糕点的味道和感觉，都像小时候妈妈买给我吃的那种。不太甜，还可以吃到木薯的纤维 =）

那Aunty还有卖我喜欢的糯米糍呢~~

不过。。。小小的糕点，害我对妈咪更多添了点。。。

小小的想念~~

忍啊！考完试就可以回家了！加油加油加油！！！

My Volunteerism

According to dictionary.com, volunteerism means practice of volunteering one's time or talents for charitable, educational, or other worthwhile activities willingly, and without pay.

With that, I think I should confess: I started this post as a show of support for my friend's campaign, and oh, supposedly to advocate a greater cause of humanity.

For a long time, I don't remember lending my helping hand to others without being asked or told. Unless we take into account my extra-curricular activity in secondary school as a trained junior first aider...Or my recent trip to the Salvation Army Children's Home in Ipoh.

I'm standing on the left, bottom row; standing next to and behind me my fellow classmates.

To be utterly honest I'm not entirely proud of that trip because when one of the children there asked me: "you came here because of your coursework?" in Mandarin, I had to bluff to not upset her.

Echoing her words...My conscience wouldn't let me off. I spent the next few hours after the trip twisting her words over in my head, turned in upside-down and pondering how I should feel. So I did the planning and budgeting along with 14 others in my course, figured out all the activities for our 2-hour stint there and did the shopping for all the souvenirs at the only department store in Kampar, Tesco clutching a calculator...And I did it all because of homework? That couldn't and shouldn't, be the only reason.

Slowly, I try to look on the brighter side. Perhaps then, it did not matter why I was there in first place. I realized what I should really be concerned about is whether or not it's for a good cause, or if I had been able to help others. Cliche but, what if volunteerism is just a simple matter of giving what we could, and seeing someone's smile in return?

If that is the case, I've just taken my first step after a long, long time of negligence to my surroundings. Moreover, I've taken more than I gave from this assignment, though I no longer see it as work. I got to know 14 of my classmates better, half of them I've barely spoken to since first year (I'm in my final semester in year two), meet more people, renewed gratitude to my parents, a stronger sense-of-self, and even...

A big shred of happiness.

Well, I'm smiling for my volunteerism now.

Knock knock....

Hi Kampar...

I'm back. But I promise you I'll be gone again in another 17 weeks.

Six dots

I hate this.

Coming here and whine.

The coursework have gone abit crazy this semester.

I'm a little out of sort.

I don't know how should I feel sometimes.

I get angry. But after 3 minutes I'm not that sure what or who I'm mad at.

Frustrated?

Trapped?

I don't know. Don't want to either.

I guess...Life's like this.

Hopefully it gets better in time.

Climbing that Grain of Sand

Let me tell you a story.Despite what someone might say about emo-ing...

---

There was a girl, who knew this boy since primary school. They practically grew up together, and were good friends. The boy was quiet and reserved, but he was outstanding in several aspects: sports,academy,competitions, you name it. He sure did well in school.

They ended in the same high school.Due to the similarity their names pronounces, they were often tease by their classmates. Because of a certain reason, they cease talking to each other. In school, they brush past each other like strangers, not even 'hi' and 'bye' were uttered. Though the girl refuse to let the situation persist, she didn't take the first step to initiate a conversation.

Time flew by. One day in school, the boy fainted. The teachers sent him to the local hospital. And for the first time, the boy and the girl talk to each other. When asked why he fainted, he explained that he had some accident recently and was experiencing vertigo at the time. But whatever it was, the connection between him and the girl was linked once again.

Years went by. As expected, the boy scored well in his exams. This time, they ended up in different colleges.The girl went to a place farther from home, and the boy started his tertiary education in a local college. He insisted to his parents that he would go to the place the girl went to, but his parents refused to let him out of their sight. So, he settled where his parents wanted him to.

So after a while, the girl thought of visiting him, so she went over to his place. His parents was packing his things and explained that he had been staying in hospital for two days already. That was the time the girl realized he had cancer since many years before. Since the time he fainted in high school. He kept this from all of his friends, and struggled to move on, all the while undergoing the excruciating torture of chemotherapy. Yet, he did not complaint for once. He sees each treatment as a battle for his life, and fought valiantly to be healthy again. He wanted to be independent, to be capable, and not be relying on his parents.

After about a year, the girl went to a meeting for her Buddhism association. The person who led the prayer, announces that one of their member from the young man division had been hospitalized as he was in a critical condition. He expresses his hope that everyone present would pray for his recovery.Who knew? Coincidentally, the girl and the boy was also in the same Buddhist association.

She realized then.The damaging effect of the disease undermining the boy's health condition finally set in. Later that day, she and her friends went to the hospital to visit him. But this time, he refuse to see them. He'd even told his mom to prevent them from going into his ward. He says that he'd recover, and when he does, he would be the one to contact them so that they could go out together. For supper or tea. Someday,when he recovers.

But that day did not came. The last word he uttered to his father was:"I lost". He had lost the long-hard battle for his life.

---

This seems like a story we all read in essays. But it's real. Real enough for me to be hearing it for the first time from the girl yesterday.

Sometimes, the mountain we've been climbing, is just a grain of sand. Come to think of it,the problems some of us face everyday are no more than our exams, relationship, family problems, and so forth. I'm not saying as if it is easy for any of us or anything... We fought to stay above our problems, but he fought to stay ALIVE.I couldn't imagine each battle meant the next breath I take.

The girl later expresses her hope for everyone listening along with me: Don't wait if you wish to talk to your friend. And she and her friends later learn to take initiative to call each other up, and not take each other for granted.